Sunday, April 20, 2008

Ok, let's get one thing straight...

I don't give a flying flip what other people think is best for Charlie. And I don't give a flying flip if you think I could be doing a better job managing my life.

I do things a little bit differently with Charlie and I realize this makes some people uncomfortable. Some choices I make, like choosing not to vaccinate, or choosing to not medicate for certain things, may be seen as dangerous or irresponsible by some.

I assure all of you that I research everything to the nth degree. I do not take a single parenting or medical choice lightly. If you've been there/done that and have any suggestions or things you think I may not have all the info on, by all means, send me a link or recommend a book. Otherwise, realize that you have no clue what it's like to care for a child like Charlie. It's not all cut and dry.

Secondly, I realize my house is a wreck. I know eating so much fast food isn't good for us. I know sometimes I slack off on things that need to be done. I am very much aware that Adrian is acting out more. I DON'T CARE. Adrian will outgrow this phase and believe me, if I knew what discipline worked for him, I'd be doing it. He's still a great kid and his meltdowns lately are not hurting anyone, so unless you have the magic cure for the terrible three's, don't bother with the "if only you'd do this..." Trust me, we are doing the best we can. We WILL get unpacked. We WILL eventually get our life in order so I can keep up on the housework and actually manage to cook a decent meal every couple of days. It's just going to take longer than normal.

I know everyone sees that we have a nurse 56 hours a week and can't understand why I don't get more done. My priorities are eat, sleep, take care of the kids. Nothing else at the moment. I get up usually after about 5-6 hours of sleep. I am hooked up to pump 30 minutes every third hour (if you are counting, that's appox 3 1/2 hours a day total). We have appointments usually 4 days a week and it is no small feat to get Charlie out of the house, even with a nurse to help. I choose to watch TV, play on the computer, or catch a quick nap instead of doing that extra load of laundry and I don't feel guilty about it.

I'm losing it people. I running on very little sleep and I'm running out of patience. Unless you know what it's like to be in my situation, shut your trap.

Yes, I'm feeling bitchy, and no, I don't feel guilty about that either.

6 comments:

Happy said...

Shauna, you're doing a great job. Being a parent is seriously hard work. And having a special needs kid, well, that makes it even harder at times. So you do what you gotta do to survive. ((hugs))

As for terrible threes, my friend calls them the 'tyrannical threes' 'cause they're WAY worse than 'terrible twos'. . . and she's right.

If you like chili (I put 3 green peppers in it - i know you're not into green peppers, though) call me - I have some leftover from last week when I made a big batch. I'll swing it by your place later if you want.

bettyann
whose house is pretty messy, too. life wtih little people is not pristine. . .that's for sure!

PS you TOTALLY ROCK with the pumping! If you ever get ANYTHING done besides dishes, duds and dinner, you've gone way above and beyond! :)

Vanessa and John said...

Sounds like somebody was an asshole to you!! Ughhh!! Most people don't have their life in order AT ALL and they don't have the added stress of our life!! You are doing great!! Seriously! You are strong and yes you deserve a break!! :) I will email you privately a b.s story later on, super busy right now! :)
Vanessa

Shauna said...

It wasn't just one person...more like an accumulation of stuff that is getting to me. One person did set me off though and it wasn't even a "real" person, just some random person online I don't even know well.

Rosetta said...

I hear ya. Pumping, lack of sleep, etc. is really hard on the body. Sometimes I get so discouraged that it seems like I don't get much done.

Ha! So you have the fun of trying to explain/defend your decision not to vaccinate also. Our neurologist acted like we were insane. :-P

Hang in there, there are others in the same boat. =)

Allison Shardell said...

I can't believe anyone has the nerve to critize you... :( Karma will get them, I'm sure... They should see my house--it's a disaster all of the time...

I'm praying for Miss Charlie--hopefully she's back home soon!

Sherrie said...

I think you're a wonderful mother, even if you do things differently than some. I truly believe you go to the greatest extent that you can to take care of your children and anyone who disagrees just doesn't know you well enough to comment on your life anyways.

I'll see you guys in a MONTH! But until then, give the babies hugs for me.