An awesome night!

I'm trying not to get too excited here...

Yesterday Charlie still wasn't feeling too well and was still throwing up some and had to be suctioned a lot. But I guess she started feeing better because right about the time Roxanna (her nurse) handed her back to me, because she seemed to turn a corner. She quit throwing up, she was calm and relaxed.

I suctioned her at 6:00 and then at about 8:00 I realized it had been 2 hours since she'd been suctioned and she wasn't even asleep that whole time. I think she woke up twice, studied my face, and went back to sleep. Normally, if she *stays* asleep, she can get by without needing suctioned, but if she wakes up, I usually have to do it once or twice before she'll go back to sleep. Then I suctioned her at about 9:30. I was thinking, "Wow, this has never happened before!" Normally by that time, she would have been suctioned 4 or 5 times. We suction her about 1-2 times an hour during the day.

Anyways, she didn't puke up her medicine (I changed how I give it to her so that might have helped) and she went the WHOLE NIGHT without being suctioned. UNREAL.

Then when she woke up this morning crying, she still didn't sound too junky, so instead of suctioning her, I wiped away the boogers, put some saline in her nose, and put her on her tummy. She coughed out some of her secretions and went back to sleep until Roxanna got here.

I took her downstairs and put her in her crib. She woke up for a little bit, but STILL didn't need suctioned! I haven't been down to check on her yet, but I haven't heard the suction machine going and it's almost noon.

So why shouldn't I get excited? Because even though she's doing so well right now, I know she will most likely go back to needing suctioned 25 times a day. If she does get the hang of it and we *don't* have to suction her has much, then GREAT! But I've been let down so many times already that I try very, very hard not to get my hopes up. Everyone says "stay positive" but until you've been crushed as many times as I have, you don't understand what it's like. There's a balance. I am hopeful that Charlie will do well, but if I tell myself everyday that she'll be "just fine" and then she's not (which we already know she'll most likely have several disabilities), I'll be in worse shape than if I just ACCEPT that she's not ever going to be a "typical" kid.

But for the moment, she's doing *wonderfully*! :-)